Confessions of a (Former) Homeschooler

The Geek and I have a rather funny game we like to play. We live in Colorado Springs, CO, the Mecca of Christianity. As it is Christian Mecca, and the home to many para-church organizations, the city seems to attract (breed) an inordinate number of homeschoolers. Whenever the Geek and I are out on a Saturday, or sometimes even just grocery shopping, we play a game we like to call "Spot the Homeschooler." It is shameless, really, and sometimes we feel a bit guilty about it, but it is certainly diverting from the usual milk, bread, eggs, kill myself now from boredom.

The guilt is two-fold. One, we really should not be mocking others, however, when there is a typical homeschool "uniform" it's fairly easy to spot them. Secondly, both the Geek and I were homeschooled at various points in our education. The Geek, from kindergarten to fourth grade, and myself from fifth grade through high school.

I feel, therefore, very qualified to discuss homeschooling and the various traits associated therewith. I spoke of a uniform, and I am somewhat loathe to admit that I sometimes did dress like a homeschooler. Often, the uniform goes somewhat like this, various Christian t-shirts or button-up shirts, or sweatshirts, worn with prairie skirts, tapered-leg jeans, or dress slacks. Also, don't forget the omnipresent white tennis shoes or brown loafers. I'm not kidding. I wore this a lot. Often, the homeschooling mother wears a similar uniform. Praise God, I have a cool mom, and she wore typical "mom" clothes and was therefore, less of an embarrassment. (Sorry Mom, all parents are an embarrassment.)

Homeschoolers get a bad rap on social skills. If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me, "So, what about socialization, social skills, friends, etc." I would have no college debt. I will admit, I had some interesting quirks socially when I first started college, but really, who doesn't? I will also readily admit, that had it not been for my parents' insistence on my involvement in various theater productions and public-speaking events, I would have been far quirkier. I don't know that I would have been any less quirky had I been in a traditional school environment.

My transition to college was rough, but that was not due to the level of schoolwork. I was able to do my work just fine. Homeschooling certainly prepared me for the ability to motivate and teach myself. What I could not fathom was the sheer noise of a college campus. For a girl used to 8 hours of quiet time to do work, the 24 hour noise of college was jarring, to say the least. Add to that the fact that I am, for all intents and purposes, an only child (my brother is 11 years younger than me and we have never lived in the same house), and you have a recipe for a cranky OCD. I don't know that anything could have prepared me for four girls sharing a bathroom and six girls in the shared living space. Six girls. That's a lot of estrogen. It dripped off the walls. This is not a situation even a public-school educated girl could have handled with grace.

At one point, I asked a very dear friend, "Can you tell I was homeschooled." She said, well, you have about 90% normal and 10% homeschool. So, yes, but not a lot. You have to be looking for it."

To the homeschoolers, or former homeschoolers who read this, there is hope! I now have a quite stylish wardrobe, consisting of zero tapered-leg jeans. I still have loafers, but some things just can't be forced out of you, plus, they're darn practical. I have learned to share living space; handy since the Geek likes a place to live. I have also learned that no matter how quirky, and how gawky, a sheer determination to get out there and have a social life will eventually triumph over all the naysayers. College has a way of getting you there. Socialization is practically a requirement.

For those of you who are questioning, I will just answer your question. Maybe. We might. It depends on the personalities and learning needs of the kids. We will take it on a case-by-case basis. My first inclination is no, but we will see.

Sometime, if you are ever in Colorado Springs, you should play our little game, but remember, that some of our greatest citizens probably wore tapered-leg jeans.